This week has been a tough one. I feel like I have felt every emotion and started to let fear over shadow my life.

Some worries of the week include:

1. What if I’m annoying them?
2. What if they think I’m weird?
3. What if people don’t believe me?
4. What if I never feel truly happy again?
5. What would happen if I just stayed in bed all day?

All of which I understand are highly negative thoughts. I know I will eventually be happy again but in the moment of over thinking and panicking it is hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel.

However, the one thing that has really kept my feet on the ground this week are my friends and family. Those who let me come round for an hour so I’m not on my own. Those who have cooked for me and driven me around. Those who have thought to text and ask how I am. I’m so lucky. I’m so privileged to have such amazing people in my life who really care. I hope they know how important they are to me.

Next week will be different. I’m going back to work with my head held high and positive thoughts surrounding my whole being. I will not be beaten.

B x

I mean, I don’t ever feel fully relaxed unless I’m on a sun lounger around a pool in 30° heat. However, some small things allow me to take a breather and slow my heart rate down for a little while.

Here they are!

1. A bubble bath. There’s not much better than sinking into a scolding tub filled with rose smelling bubbles and lying there becoming wrinkly.
2. Watching Netflix. Now, some people find rom-coms fun and relaxing. However, I love a documentary about a serial killer or a series about a murderer! Each to their own I suppose…
3. Baking. I’m not saying I’m good at it, but I like the methodical way you have to follow the instructions. Oh, and I like licking the mixture out of the bowl too.
4. Taking the dog for a walk. I don’t do this often enough because I don’t like going out on my own. But if I go with a friend, I love to smell the fresh crisp air and awkwardly smile at strangers as you pass them!
5. My bed. My bed can sometimes be the place where I panic the most. However, if I feel really stressed or exhausted, I know that I will be accepted with open arms into the squishy and satisfying mattress.

And there’s my 5 ways to relax. I have written these down so I can come back to this and remind myself to relax during or after a stressful situation. Lets hope it works!

B x

He’s called Ted. He’s a charming and bouncy Cavapoo who’s blind in his right eye.

His hobbies include:

• Following my dad around like his shadow.
• Taking your socks off your feet and running away with them.
• Pretending to strangers and family friends that he is sweet and innocent.
• Running around like an idiot most of the time.

But, he’s my bestie. He never answers back, he never doubts me and he always has love to give. He’s the sunshine on a cloudy day! (That sounded cheesier than I meant it..)

We love you little Teddy Bear, don’t ever change

B x

1. You’re not being needy, if people want to listen they will stick around. If they don’t, they won’t!
2. You need to consider your own feelings sometimes as well as others.
3. You are loved by so many people.
4. A job is a job, don’t let it take over your life. As a wise woman said to me: you don’t live to work, you work to live.
5. How you’re feeling right now is temporary. This isn’t you, it’s a shadow of you that’s trying to take over and we won’t let it. I’m picturing Peter Pan’s cheeky shadow.
6. You’ll be happy Becky again very, very soon.
7. You can bloody do this! ❤❤
8. 

I used to!

I was one of those children who had plenty of hobbies. I used to love going to ballet and tap classes on a Saturday morning and swimming lessons on a Wednesday evening after school. Here’s photographic evidence of me leaving the house as a child to be a bunny rabbit in a dance show!

Cute eh?! But now, the thought of going back to dancing makes me feel like I’d be laughed at. The thought of swimming more puts me off by the fact that I’d have to show off my ghost like skin and my extra wobbly bits. The thought of starting a brand new hobby has scared me off for a long time now.

No more! No more will I let my brain tell me I’m too obese to swim. No more will I tell myself that I have no time for hobbies; apart from sleeping and over thinking of course. I’ll attempt to bat away the negative thoughts and try to leave the house for at least one evening a week for an extra-curricular activity.

I think that Zumba could be the first activity as I’ve done it before and loved it last time! I also am a massive fan of theatre and singing and I miss singing as part of a choir, that could be my next venture. The possibilities are endless and it’s all mine for the taking!

(And I’ve written it down now as evidence so I have to do it 😂.)

B x