Author: revans93

It’s amazing how much one’s life changes, however reading through old blog posts has made me question what has actually changed in 10 months.

So I’ve decided to start a time capsule. I will answer these questions every 6 months to see what exactly has changed!

1. What is your marital status? Jan 2021: in a relationship ❤️

2. Where do you live? Jan 2021: Renting in the church.

3. What is your job? Jan 2021: reception teacher (in nursery for lockdown)

4. Who do you live with? Jan 2021: A❤️

5. What does the world look like? Jan 2021: we have just gone into a third national lockdown. The numbers are higher than ever but theres now 3 vaccines that have been approved.

I’ll be back in 6 months to see what’s new!

B x

Wow, it’s been a journey. 10 weeks of being stuck. But look at how you’ve grown.

Yes, your face may be a little rounder. Yes, your clothes may feel a little tighter. However, your smile is just as wide. Your eyes that have seen a lot of tears are just as shiny. Your hair is in need of a root touch up, however your skin is the healthiest it’s ever been.

You miss your boyfriend so. Chatting through a screen has its benefits, but it’s not the same. You lucky girl getting to see him today from a distance. How lucky you’ll be when you get to snuggle into him next. Others won’t be so lucky.

Who knows when this will end. Who knows when we will be able to see our loved ones again. But in this moment, you’re content.

B x

It’s okay to be unstable. It’s okay to worry. It’s okay to have bad days. It’s okay to feel like a failure. It’s okay to not be perfect. It’s okay to take time for yourself. It’s okay to be happy. It’s okay to only worry about yourself for an hour. It’s okay to love and be loved in return.

It’s not okay to blame yourself for things you can’t control. It’s not okay to take on everyone else’s problems. It’s not okay to feel worthless. It’s not okay to be alone.

I’m not okay, but hopefully I will be.

B x

Unprecedented times. Uncertain times. And yet, one thing is certain. I’m worried.

I’m worried about my family. I’m worried about my friends. I’m worried about my physical health. But also my mental health.

I don’t think I realised how much I rely on my job. My job is consistent. My job grounds me and allows me to forget about my worries. No matter your worries, there is always a 4 year old to take your mind off the thoughts and problems of every day life.

Now, those 4 year olds are on my mind. What are they up to? Are they safe? Are they happy? Questions I wish I could answer but I can’t quite yet.

I hope we are back to school soon. I hope I can see my boyfriend soon. I hope I can see my friends soon. That’s all I have right now, hope.

B x

Hello pain, it’s been a while,

All I’ve done recently is smile.

But now you’ve reared your ugly head,

And now I can’t get out of bed.

All I want is to go back a day,

Where I could happily say,

I love you.

It’s been a brilliant day.

It’s been a brilliant week.

So why am I hiding out in my room at 8pm on a Saturday, crying in bed?

I need to get out but I don’t know where to go.

I need to move out but I can’t afford it.

I’m stuck.

He says I love you, I love him too,

So why can’t I believe he could?

Why can I never allow myself to be happy and spend my days self sabotaging?

Why do I allow my past to dictate my future?

Why can’t I see what he sees in me?

Why do I spend my time over analysing every message, every line?

I wish I knew…

B x

This time in 11 hours I will be sat with a coffee in my left hand and my new pen in my right. The summer has come to an end and even though I’ve blinked and it’s over, I have had the most amazing time.

Now though it’s time to see the shining, smiling faces of my new little three year olds who are ready to play. I can’t wait to lay those foundations and teach them the most important life lessons. It’s almost time to say goodbye to Becky for a while and hello to Miss Evans!

However , just for today, I’ll close my eyes and dream of the sand between my toes and the sea breeze through my hair.

A snapshot of my amazing Summer. Welcome back happy Becky, it’s been a while ❤️

It’s amazing what a little bit of sunshine can do. Today marks our last day in Lindos, Rhodes and I can honestly say I’m happy. Not only have I had a lovely relaxing week in the sun, but I also have so much to look forward to when I get home. I have a new role at work which is very exciting! I have a lovely boyfriend who takes care of me and helps me to see the positives in life. I have a gorgeous family and amazing friends who are always there when I need them.

I guess you could say that, at this moment in time, everything is coming up roses!

B x